RANDOM THOUGHTS from Montreal

Rainbow over the St-Lawrence River

We have been having some very weird weather in Montreal - we had a heavy (one of many) thunderstorms last week and I took this picture - right outside my balcony. Isn't it beautiful?

Actually, this is the site I see (minus the rainbow, of course) everytime I look outside.  That is the St-Lawrence River - and when I moved to this apt 10 years ago, there were no buildings across the River - needless to say - I am not happy to see these expensive condos that have popped up over the last 10 years.

As some of you may know, I am currently not working and, while in theory, this sounds wonderful, I have to say that I am starting to feel restless and not quite sure about filling up all my days - and this is a huge problem as I tend to think (read: overthink) too much  when I have too much time on my hands.

I am definitely a "do" person.  In fact, one of my ex co-workers use to joke "if you want to make Tina crazy -  don't give her enough to do - she will actually start inventing stuff to do" and he is totally right.  The thing is that I want to make sure that I get the right job for me and where I am in my life right now.  Let's face it, I am no longer looking for the same things as I was when I was an ambitious 21 year old who wanted to climb the corporate ladder and just keep going.  This has come as a weird realization to me - I always thought I was this hard nose career woman- but since I hit 40, I no longer want to play with the "big boys in the corporate world" - although, one of the big reasons  is because I basically went toe to toe with them for the last 20 years of my career.  Still, this leaves me scratching my head as to where I am now - pretty clueless actually.

Of course, everytime something starts to tug at me - my food starts to suffer and I have to say that I am not eating well these days - which is B-A-D news. 

On the positive side, I have doing tons and tons of bike riding, yoga and even some cardio (although this will never change - I HATE cardio). 

I also find myself having to make some decisions about certain people in my life that I thought were gone for good.  I have been re-watching the Sex and the City DVD's (which IS my guy/life bible in a way) and I  feel like Carrie and Mr. Big - back and forth - trying to figure out if I have it in me to ever trust again - not sure about this one.  Of course, in the end, Carrie does end up with Mr. Big - but fairy tales and happy endings only happen in movies right?

Hand over the Big Mac.......I think I need to practice my yoga breathing :)